Moved.Out

Moving blog. Please update links to http://squareberry.moi-nonpl.us

This site will be hanging around though. I'll miss it!

Stressed

I just realized I haven't been blogging as much, partly because I'm dry on inspiration, and mostly because I'm in such panic over piling work that I feel guilty when I engage in distractions. As if I ain't distracted enough all the time.

I can't really keep up with my lifestlye these days. My orderly, planned out lifestyle which I hate making compromises on. I have almost no time to breath as I juggle between school, thesis (the biggest drag of all time and I'm permanantly dragging it), running, piano...

I've been told by one or two people lately that I seem 'high strung' and 'intense'. Oh dear, my panic mode is becomming obvious to the world. And I thought I always hide it so carefully. That's becasue in school, I can barely breathe sometimes. As I'm running from one place to another (sometimes I've no idea WHY since I only have 2 or 3 classes a week), I'm thinking about how many things I have on my plate, so much so that I can't concentrate on what's right before me.

It's not the stress and the load I can't take. It's the fact that out of some of the things I'm doing, I HATE THEM SO MUCH. Actually, I hate IT so much. I tell myself it's all worth it and to grit my teeth, but everyday, I feel a great sense of dread thinking about that darned thing.

It's been a long time since I've done my long reservoir-bishan park run. I miss it, but I"m... always completely exhuasted by the time the weekend comes. Sunday I'm so tired I barely do a thing and it makes me feel like I'm this lousy person drifting about.

Sigh. This is me, when I'm... stressed and whiny.

Apparantly people on my tagboard are now complaining about their absence on my blog. That's becasue nothing interesting has happened! Okay, here's DEH Lemon Cheong. =) Hang in there lemon, as I am hanging with you. Hanging out, hanging in, hanging about.

And, HUCKS! Huck is the new words I invented with Winston- its a hug for people who feel like F.

Lennel's awesome charging screen.

Valentines =)

Many many pictures, and much more joy, but I shall just share some.

A part of my present for Lennel (what the actual surprise was is a secret, hee). Stamps with us on them! haha, two stamps are missing because I mailed them to his house with my card/postsecrets.

Early valentines dinner @ PS Cafe Demsey. The soups were huge, and awesome.


I got 3 gifts!

'The Sweet Gift'- Haiku cupcakes! That's the third of my presents...had a pretty hard time diciphering them, but love them anw. Haiku's have a special significance for us. And every cupcake has something purple on them!

'The Funny Gift' - heehee, I couldn't believe it, but he got me a PURPLE HAIRDRYER. (don't be jealous mouse). Lol! I've never owned a hair dryer in my life, and now I'm motivated to use this one because it's purple. Yes, I just told my mum that 'I'm very lazy to dry my hair, but this one is purple, think I don't mind' and she totally rolled her eyes. Quite a coincidence that my Dad previously bought my mum a hairdryer on their first valentines... AND my maid informed me that my mum's hairdryer had sparks when she turned it on yesterday, so now she wants a new one.

'The Pretty Gift' - PURPLE earrings and pendant. Gosh, the earrings are very simple, but I LOVE them. Sparkling purple things... yay! And turns out I was wearing purple today too!

Many more things I could say, but I rather not. =)

Oh well, we spent most of today actually lazing about...and I had piano lesson, followerd by family gathering for my uncle who's back from Germany. Mr Ku was pretty intrigued by Lennel's cupcakes, lol. Told me, 'I didn't register he was your bf because I thought you'd date someone older'. I informed him that Lennel was 28, which surprised him as it has surprised everyone. Sigh, I look old!

And today, something so strange happened I can't stop recalling the moment. To have a grown man nearly cry in front of you. It's not abnormal.. but somehow, it was all very deeply etched in my memory. (No no, just to clarify- I did not make Lennel cry.)

So tired!

A time to treasure

I was feeling quite down yesterday with my tremendous to-do list, but as I sit down and give it further thought-

They're not really worthy of me mulling over.

I'm pretty much at the peak of my life now, with almost (keyword is almost) everything going well. I've been blessed with good things, and a lot of them. So why complain? Just have to bite my teeth and keep forging ahead, hopefully without dragging my feet too much.

With that, I start another busy day filled with (self) expectations and stress.

My to-do list is permanantly long and it includes many things which are probably not among the priorities of many. And the list never grows shorter because there are many things that I'm frightened of checking off.

I've been living like that for so long that I don't know how else but to continue panicking.

The Mouse I Love

I had a discussion on love with a friend today who doesn't believe I could love my friends, but I do!

Here's the mouse I love, and am so proud of. Who's been amazing to me, and even more amazing in herself.

We hung out at Starbucks to wait for MarkMark. Finally met up with MM! And it's really sweet how MM actually wants to be friends with us considering we randomly traumatized him in business history class for no gd reason at all. (e.g. disturbing him on MSN, saying random stupid things to him, telling him he 'hashas toto speakspeak likelike thisthis').

Frustrations and Anger

It's been a long time since I've gotten really angry, agitated and aggressive, but yesterday I did and I was ready to start throwing tantrums. I really hate it when students are not treated with sufficient respect... I do understand that as a smaller part of a bigger group, sometimes we get marginalized and we've to align ourselves to bigger plans from up-there. But when we get kicked around non-stop, it's just ridiculous. It's been done once, and I had to reshuffle all plans and hopes, and now I've to do it all over again. As if I've nothing better to do.

*boiling*

Feel like I've been trampled over.

At least I got to go out yesterday... Ikea is quite fun! I like looking at furniture and things to decorate my home with, except I've no personal home to decorate. And guess what, it was my FIRST TIME ever trying their much talked about Swedish meatballs.

I've no idea why I like this picture so much- probably because the lighting at Ikea makes me look like I've glowing complexion, haha.

Muffin!