Happy Thursday

Yesterday was quite fun, and productive! Went to meet Lennel for lunch and I got ...

...a purple rose!

Post lunch, I spent some time studying at SMU with Jingyi and Manda, who kindly SMUggled me in. Haven't seen my Nanyang f.r.i.e.n.d.s in so long and it was great, even though I think we were just sitting there doing work. It's the presence that counts right, haha. And I realized i realllyyyy missed them. Almost wished I was in SMU. My friends are there and it's easy to access from my house.

Note to Jy/Manda/Chris/Elayne: Let's meet up soon. The next long weekend should be coming soon?

Post SMU, Lennel and I had dinner with Kim- Excellent new salmon wrap at coffee bean! Followed by a stroll to Kim's house to meet my mouse-in-law (her mum). I love Kim's mum- she's so nice and so cute. I hope she didn't think I was there to collect angpows, because I've been wanting to and I would visit her at anytime! Really missed her, don't know why.

Say hi to us. (And Kim's right there... see the little christmas tree in between our heads. Yea that's her!)

Oh oh! We went grocery shopping... and I bought a whole big bag of cuttlefish balls to cook with tomyum paste. Tried it last night and its delicious. Ever since I tried this ma2 la4 (ultra spicy) fishball, I've been into fishball, sotong ball, beef ball, mushroom ball...

I was just beginning to think I had expectations too high, too lofty.

I was wrong! =)

Way Back into Love from Music and Lyrics

I'm so addicted to this song! It's driving me nuts because the tune has been ringing in my head day and night!



And yes, a new start. =)

It's amazing

I've been happy. With people and many things.

My next trip to s*h, I'm going to sing, 'Recovery is amazing!' I'm so proud of Mouse Lian Rolles and myself... bad circumstances brought us together, and we're now both moving on the greener pastures together. The accompanying sense of freedom and joy just multiplies when the miracle happens to both of us.



I doubt things will ever be fully perfect, but I'm grateful enough that it is so damn much less imperfect already. Truly, I've grown so much over the past two years or so. Had it not been for depressing times, I'd probably be a different person from what I was today, and less deserving of the good things in life.

And that was among the stuff I thought about while having a few mouths of brownie ice-cream at Ben and Jerry's yesterday. And I look like the uglier one in this photo! *meh*

And so, I begin a (hopefully productive) Sunday with glee.

I love my mouse, house, spouse, grouse, blouse!

Finally met my my house- ms. mouse lian rolles! She's in purple today. We had a GREAT time catching up at Starbucks HV and then a meal at Sushi Tei, our favourite restaurant. A very significant meal for certain reasons. YAY. Love you housey!



Can't rem if I posted these up... from Cinderella Musical. Ee Hiang, myself and Ban!

Presenting... Queen Cinderberry!

And BAN SEE THIS- I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU! Just wait patiently ... with anticipation. HEEHEE

Sooty wore purple on Friday! (and it was a mere coincidence that I was in purple too...)

She walks in Beauty
George Gordon Bryan, Lord Bryan

SHE walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Someone complained that the I contravened the surprisee-etiquette by failing to blog about the surprise. So here goes-

I had a surprise this week! A lovely one which probably is the highlight of the week. =)

After-note: Forgot to add, surprise 2 of the week- Mr Goh Jiayuan called me from Sweden today! I miss JY!

There goes the first week of the last semester.

Didn't achieve as much as I hoped, thanks to panic attacks over my Mizuho bank recital, fatigue and random admin stuff. I am beginning to develop a distaste for admin work, especially when it involves forwarding e-mails and forwarding them.

Didn't manage to get real work done... well, at least not much thesis work, which could make or break me this semester. I hate the 'sudden death' nature of thesis...no A minus = no First-class, regardless of how well you've done overall. Sometimes I just want to forget it and graduate already.

And yes, the Mizuho bank ordeal is over. I wasn't very pleased with my performance... definitely could have done better given more time, and less nerves. I really had an unusual amount of fear in me for thie gig... no idea why. It's been a long time since I haven't been able to talk myself out of my own fear, at least enough to feel all calm when I play in front of an audience. Oh well, what's done is done... and I hope the nice applause meant I sounded decent enough. And they gave me the hugest bouquet of flowers I've ever received in my life!

Which is kinda sad? The hugest bouquet of flowers I've ever received in my life came from a bank. So for someone else to make me happy with flowers in future, it's got to be really humongous. Well, I guess size doesn't count... as long as they're purple! Or roses of the deepest, darkest red.

I've been quite disappointed in myself this week, in many ways. But what to do, but to move right on. And get things back in shape.

I suddenly feel like lying down and just listen to music.

In loving memory...

My darling Lady, the most sweet, gentle, lovely, poised, pretty, graceful, elegant dog ever.

The Best things in the World-

Best worlds-

My overactive imagination has always left me with very idealistic visions of a perfect world, one of them being the perfect world of studying-

I always thought I could possibly enjoying studying. If I were in a cool, specious environment, and a large, uncluttered table all to myself. I'd sit with my back straight, listen to good music and have sips of coffee along the way. I'd also be concentrating so intensely that I don't even notice time flying by.

Of course, that is the ideal world. It doesn't exit. The situation described above has been replicated for me now-

But all I want to do is sleep, exercise, or play piano.

I attended Lit lecture this morning, first Lit lecture in 4 years. Everything was skimped through... but still, I miss the feeling of studying Lit. And so, I end with one of my favourite poems:

The Best Thing in the World?

Elizabeth Barrett Broning

What's the best thing in the world?
June-rose, by May-dew impearled;
Sweet south-wind, that means no rain;
Truth, not cruel to a friend;
Pleasure, not in haste to end;
Beauty, not self-decked and curled
Till its pride is over-plain;
Light, that never makes you wink;
Memory, that gives no pain;
Love, when, so, you're loved again.
What's the best thing in the world?
—Something out of it, I think.

Some nice songs

I usually set my mp3 player to random mode while running, and for some strange reason, 4 of my favourite songs started playing at the same time today. They each remind me of certain pple-

So Close:


This song reminds me of Ray, simply because he sent it to me and told me the song made him think of me (does that mean the song should remind me of me?, haha). It's a lovely song, and now I kind of regret not watching Enchanted. And to some extent, it makes me think of GGC since I recently discovered by chance he likes it too... and because during the same conversation, I found this really lovely video of the song! Me thinks its the most emo video I've ever seen, but kind of nice in a bittersweet way.

The Blowers Daughter:

This song is always associated with the movie Closer. And it always reminds me of one person whom I used to miss very painfully for nearly two years. I've no idea why either...oh, and I had a friend called Andy who likes the song too. I remember I once found a shirt with the words 'And so it is' in Zara and sms-ed him to tell him I was buying it because of the song, lol. Anyway, it remains one of my favourite songs til this day.

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered:


This song reminds me of the person who was one of the first to make me relent in my personal beliefs and go to church, as well as almost made me want to stop going to church. I guess it'll soon remind me of Sooty since he is arranging it for me to perform. This is a particularly nice version by Babara Streisand!

Magic Works

This too, reminds me of Ray. I miss the days in Year 1 when he was one of the very few close friends I made in uni. He sent this to me after watching Harry Potter... and til this day, I recall a day where we sat at a swing in Khatib, listening to songs from my laptop. =)

Its the beginning of the end...

the start of my final semester in university.

Here's Lemon and Berry on my last day in Blugrapes...

It's the first day back at school, and I've classes with NicNic this sem! We're taking Making of a Region and Services Marketing together... yay, got company! After the boring morning class, he dragged me to the business canteen and we started doing dumb things- the dumbest of which was to walk one round the canteen waving at people (mostly my friends since he's been away for a semester) to reestablish our presence in the canteen.

I've bidded for two extra modules- Music in the Global Society and Introduction to Lit. I can afford at most one more module, so I'd see which I prefer. Technically, these are all above my degree requirements, so I'm wondering whether I should just forget extra mods and go full blasting into the world of thesis. But I've always been interested in Lit... really miss it from my A Level days. Hopefully the workload isn't that bad. All I need is to pass so that I can exercise my final pass/fail grading option on it.

Many things coming up in my final semester! Thesis being the major ones. As well as at least two more rather big concerts with nuspe (nightmare!)... I've this compulsion to find a way to ensure my final semester is as meaningful as possible, but I don't know how.

Give me two more weeks and I think I'll start blogging about how school is a routine...

And I'm really stressed. Barely prepared for my 'recital' on Thursday despite practising all weekend. :( Here's some chopped-up Chopin -

Freddie Kempf

My new favourite pianist playing Beethoven's Pathetique Sonta
Movement 1:

Movement2:

Movement 3:

Self Reminder

My new year resolution was to approach the things I do (and I mean, everything), with more drive. I realized to day that I've started forgetting it. Onward!

What made me realize it was piano lesson. I felt so utterly sian practising the entire morning and afternoon. And when I was playing terrible during lesson, I saw that I couldn't expect anything else, because I was just blah-ing my way through the entire day in a most lethargic fashion. I have four days to the recital... a real short time to get my act together. Guess I'll be waking up early tomorrow.

Hopefully, I'd be able to fit in an hour of practice in peace before I'm off for teaching...

While running, I kept thinking and thinking about how I have not been bothering to practise properly of late... and I felt quite disappointed in myself, since not bothering is like wasting money on lessons.

Running was pretty good I guess... I haven't ran since Wednesday, but I managed to clock about 12-13km today. One of the things I love best is to listen to music while running... I listened through-
1. The piano recording which I personally consider to be the most inspiring (the identity of this piece is a secret)
2. Dvorak's Symphony No. 7
3. Half of Dvorak's Symphony No. 9
4. My own recording of Gustav Holst's Mars (haha, it just came on when my player was in random mode)... I kind of miss playing with Linli.

My legs feel like jelly now, but I'm really satisfied with myself.

And I promised myself that I'd make 2009 a good year. Much to look into and work upon.

Blogging Challenge - GGC version

Another 5 topics I promised to blog about

1. Gripes about public transportation

Honestly, up til 4 days ago, I would say public transportation in Singapore is one of the best I've ever encountered, and I have absolutely nothing to complain. Yes, it sucks that I have to take 3 buses to get to NUS from my home, but really... they're clean, they don't cheat your money, they are easy to use.

BUT on Tuesday, I discovered the horrors of the 'peak hour', which I have avoided most of my last 3.5 years because I lived in hostel. So, I was at City Hall (on my way home from work), and ended up missing 4 trains because they were completely packed! 4?!!!! trains and I still couldn't get in?

Packed trains, I can deal. I'm sure MRTs all around the world have such problems during peak hours... but its the people trying to force their ways through, without consideration for who they're elbowing into. I doubt I have to elaborate - the number of letters to the Straits Times forum about ugly singaporeans is testament enough.

Oh yes, and I almost forgot... bus drivers who do not stop when you've been flagging frantically at the stop...

2. Some new crazy things that CW wants to try in 2009

-I have been wanting to try this since 2008, but I will try it in 2009 - get on the REVERSE BUNGEE! An old friend and I once made a bet about who'd get attached first. If he got attached first, he brings me to sit on the reverse bungee. If I got attached first, I cook him a full dinner, complete with appetizers and desert. I won the best by just about 2 days, so I get to bungee!

-Run a full marathon! I guess that's crazy enough by normal standards.

-Go up to a stranger on the bus and start talking to him/her (haha)

-Take up some form of dancing - ballroom?

-Run up Kent Ridge Park with a close friend and scream/laugh our hearts out like no one could hear us.

3. Boxers or Briefs?

Boxers. They remind me of my good friend Mr GJY who loves walking around in his boxers, so I got him 'Calvin Klein' ones from Beijing. And boxers are comfortable! I've a pair of boxers at home because a (female) friends left them behind when she stayed over. I've worn them and they're nice and airy, haha.

4. 5 things CW needs in her bf (or bf to be)

Thing 1: Sufficient trust to let her to do what she wants, and hangout with whoever (including her good guy friends)

Thing 2: Honesty and openness, loads of it I hate it when people lie to me.

Thing 3: Following from Thing 2, willingness to talk stuff out

Thing 4: Makes her laugh herself silly and doesn't mind laughing himself silly together

Thing 5: A dependable friend

5. 5 things CW doesn't want in her boyfriend (or boyfriend to be)

Thing 1: Cigarettes

Thing 2: Party animal

Thing 3: Doesn't bother to keep himself neat and presentable (its not about being good looking)

Thing 4: Control freak

Thing 5: Expectations of a perfect gf/relationship (those don't exist)

I feel like I've just filled up one of those long questionaires where you have to fill in details about yourself and then tag people to do so... haha.

Blogging Challenge - Sooty Version

Soots and I have had enough of Scrabble, so now we've invented a new word game. One that involves lots of words - the blogging challenge. He has given me five topics, and I have to blog about them.

1. My Maid

I don't really like to refer to my maid as a 'maid', because I (and I believe the rest of my family) consider her as practically part of the family. Which, incidentally, I think should be the case for all maids. After all, they left behind their families to make a living... its only right they get treated decently, and with love. I guess some might argue that in this time and age, many people do leave behind their families for jobs overseas, but it's not quite the same- many professionals do it by choice, or are lured by greener pastures. And they have the freedom to go out, have a life, make friends, have fun... but maids are often pretty much home bound except for weekends.

Oh well, back to my maid- she's been with us for nearly 15 years, shares a room with me, and is one of the most important people in my life. I just cannot imagine her leaving, ever! She even misses the dogs when she goes back home for visits. One day, I am going to teach her how to use msn properly... she had a brief stint with it while I was in NYC and my mum made her chat with me when she (my mum) was too lazy to.

2. Gmail

I have three gmail accounts: chengwei1405@gmail.com, chengwei.nuspe@gmail.com and iamnotsooty@gmail.com (created merely to annoy sooty). And Gmail rocks my life... rocks, I love everything about google- google chrome browser tops it all! All customizable, convenient and creative. And I combine every email account I have into one gmail account, so if there's one homepage I can't life without, it's www.gmail.com

3. Eyebrows

If I had my hp cable with me, I'd post up a picture of myself now. I finally got my eyebrows trimmed after letting them go astray for the past couple of months (I was lazy). And I am so happy with them now, nice and neat. And I wish I could help Sooty pluck his eyebrows.

4. Gaza

I honestly did not know what Gaza was until asked to blog about this. Luckily google (see why I love it?) knows all about Gaza. Apparantly, Gaza is derived from the Hebrew root for 'strong'.
And yes, the Israelis and Palestinians are fighting over it.

5. To Kill a Mockingbird

My favourite novel, ever, which deserves a revisit soon. I studied this novel for Lit during 'O' Levels and I really enjoyed it. I've read the book at least 6 times, and seriously, everytime I read it, there's always something new to enjoy about it.

In Sec 3, I went on a school trip to Alabama (where the novel was set), and one of the townsfolk told us something which I found very poignant. We were at the courthouse which Harper Lee wrote about in the novel, and apparantly, the actress who played the young girl (Scout) in the film adaptation visited the courthouse again when she was in her 60s. At that moment, standing inside there, she teared, saying that acting in that film changed her whole life.

I can certainly imagine why. The novel deals with many issues.

And one of my favourite quotations comes from this novel:
"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.”
Harper Lee To Kill a Mockingbird 1960

I sent this quote to a dear friend during times of distress. I wonder how she is now.

Why am I always so angry, so bitter, so vengeful, so disappointed with everything. 

I can absolutely deal and accept, but I've always been holding on to a promise of something better- instead of such utter bullshit. 

Today, I put myself in the scenario of having things go exactly the way I wish them to. What am I going to say? 'Ok. Forgiven. All good.' Not really either-

Which makes me a hypocritical, spiteful, prideful bitch. 

So much for my moral high ground. And high expectations of others.

Once again, I go to bed with a burdened mind.

Running, Gymming and Caffeine solves most problems in life

Happy New Year! Spent the last 12 hours of 2008 with Ban and Sooty playing Game of Life, Scrabble and some other word games Sooty made up, which were so tough they gave me a headache. Involved putting random letters sie by side and naming words that contained those letters in order...

e.g. Round 1- E G

Round 2-E G D

Round 3 - E G D I

So you can say something like EaGle, ExxaGerateD, REGarIng. It was so challenging. I liked the game I invented, much easier on the brain and funny...Putting random letters and then forming sentences beginning with each of the letters. We had strange sentences like All lies or nothing, Ukrainian pigs are green... not the exact words, but stuff equally ludicrous. Sooty justy reminded me of some- Better heal our utopia, most lies yield no good outcomes, Ukranian Xylophones something-something-something...

Anyway, we spent ages trudging around the city hall area trying to decide where we wanted to go to countdown. Ended up squeezing with the Marina Bay Crowd to watch fireworks... not my choice, coz I hate crowds. Admittedly, it was much less crowded than I anticipated, but it was smelly. Nevertheless, Ban really wanted to watch fireworks, and its good enough that he enjoyed it. =) Some bits were really nice... though nothing bits Beijing Olympics 2008. 

Sooty looks like he wants to cry because I made him take a photo with me. 

Ban and Berry- best Emperor and Empress of Nuspe, haha. And our complexion colour looks the same here...

Today, on the 1st day of 2009, I gymmed for the first time in nearly three weeks. Ran about 5.5km, then spent 20 minutes at the gym. I can still lift the same weights, but my stamina with them has really deterioriated. Couldn't even do 15 incline situps properly. 

Nevertheless, it felt SO GOOD to be back in the gym. And I am on Day 5 of my resolution to run everyday for a whole week! It feels like running, gymming, and caffeine really solve all problems... I was really feeling quite miserable for awhile, and at the start of my run...but after sometime, endorphins took over. 

Time to get fit again.

And I am really into this taking care of myself resolution... haven't drunk coke light in a week. Today, I really wanted a cold drink and had iced lemon tea instead, which is an achievement in itself.