Oh so tired

I'm perpetually tired! Feels like I"m finally paying my dues for all those times I didn't sleep during the semester. For the past few days, in between (very tiring) swims/runs/walks with Kev, I've been occupying myself by drifting in and out of sleeping/being awake but wondering why I'm so sleepy. But I'm not complaining, oh good o' slumber...

The strangest thing happened to me yesterday afternoon. I was reading about REM (rapid eye movement) sleep in my 'power book' sleep - apparantly, that's the stage of sleep when one has his first dream of the night (or afternoon, for that matter) - when I fell asleep. And it was so restless! Kept getting confused over whether I was awake/dreaming, or whether I was reading sms-es in my dream/real life. Didn't help that I started dreaming about waking up. haha, woke up incredibly confused over which sms-es weren't a figment of my imagination and needed replying. It reminded me of my primary school days, when I would fall asleep while reading a good mystery, dream up the rest of the plot and wake up all puzzled over which parts I really read and which parts I dreamed I was reading. (must have looked pretty cute flipping the book over and over again searching for the place I last stopped at, haha)

I'm listening to Hips Don't Lie now, and it reminds me that I'm going clubbing with my neighbours tonight! Finally, it's been a looonnnng time man. I miss the blast of the music in my ears, the pulse of the music in your head - that makes you decide to just let it go and go crazy, as if you were living your last day. Above all, I miss the company, those crazy memories of the occassional Girls' Night Out we had, and the sleepovers, the truths or truths, the 'I had nevers', the drinks, the new years. I can't believe that I forget how much I miss my friends sometimes.

Went down to town to watch Mission Impossible 3 today (it's okkkaayyy), and for what must be the first time, I didn't feel like I wanted to shop. For I no longer know where to put all my clothes! I went home last weekend to find my cupboard filled to the brim, which I attributed to having not gone home to get clothes for the entire exam period. Unfortunately, I came back to PGP to discover that the cupboard here is still filled with unused clothes despite not having gone back home for 3 weeks. Feels like I need a new wardrobe for my birthday (wardrobes filled with more new clothes are also welcomed, haha) One day, I will be hung (in a wardrobe?) for all the unrestrained, indulgent, but sinfully satisfying shophaholic-ism.

I was actually in town to submit my work schedule today. And I hesitated, if only for a moment. It seems so strange to return to work, when I no longer see all the same old faces, when everything has changed. After so long, I'd feel small, and useless all over again. I recall feeling a great sense of regret after quitting the last time - it felt like I was still so blur and inexperienced, no better than I was when I first started half a year ago. This time round, I'll be better, and I'll find my way, somehow.

Beyond all the drunkards, noise and smoke, I always found clubbing very relaxing. For that moment, you act like there's no more tomorrow... but tomorrow will always come, and tomorrow, Chengwei expects to be dead tired. Yay, more sleep! =)