Bitchy

In my JC days, all the guys in class liked to laugh and poke fun at me, affectionate 'suan-ing', as they would put it. They said it was fun because they knew I wouldn't take it to heart... well, yea, as long as it's not malicious. They said I was easy to bully... pretty unexpected for someone so tall, but yea. That was why I landed up being smashed on the face with a slice of cake (expensive cake from Anggie's Choice, haha) on my 17th birthday, with my nose filled with gross butter for the rest of the day. That was why I spent a disgusting amount of money on those charity tickets which people push at you at Orchard MRT Station... my classmates (especially the guys) will walk away, and I'll be pressurized to buy them.

Anyway, this is nothing to do with my ex-classmates...we were all great friends after all. (and I miss them very much) But...

I'm definitely becomming less and less nice, more and more bitchy.

After J2, I swore never to buy any of those charity tickets again along Orchard Road, even if it's some old woman trying to sell it to me. Look, don't tell me how it's for a good cause... when you're paid to sell them. I only drop money into the tins of buskers, and the man singing at Orchard MRT underpass... who's always there late into the night, when it's almost 12 and I'm on the way home from work. Occasionally, I donate money to school children selling flags. Sometimes, I buy charity T-shirts / cards / toys, when I honestly think it's for a good cause (though I've to say, they're getting more and more expensive... which makes it feel like a scam to force everyone to donate more.) And I'll never call in to one of those charity TV shows, simplay because I know most of the money goes into running the show.

Two weeks back, I was so irritated with my project mate being late that I couldn't bring myself to say very much to him for the first hour, because I was afraid of sounding unreasonably cold.

On Friday, I got so pissed off with the Econs tutor that I E-mailed the professor with some feedback. I didn't even mention her name, but well, he forwarded it to her anyway.

And yesterday. I contemplated sending really mean Sms-es to my project mates (different group). Let's call them A, B and C.
I stayed up until 4am to edit our project and woke up at 8:30am because we had a meeting at 9:00 am. Some of my project mates live really far from Pgp, so I expected them to be late anyway... so I continued editing... and decided to call A, who was supposed to pick B and C up at the busstop. And guess what I discovered? B and C didn't wake up on time, and messaged A to say that they would come after 12. Fine. The bigger problem - A didn't wake up until I called, so he didn't see the message either. In short, no one informed me, and I felt like a grand fool for waking up so early.

I felt like I could say really mean things to all of them. To give A credit, he decided not to sleep anymore and come help me edit first. And well, B was uncontatable because he got drunk the night before. C... is a really nice person, so I couldn't stay mad for long.

And, I think I almost quarrelled with A during the meeting. I really don't know what's wrong with me these days... just generally impatient with people! :s It was partly my fault because I really felt very strongly about something I wrote. Thank goodness it didn't escalate... and the moment of stress passed after awhile.

And I decided to tell A, B and C... 'After today, I've no more time to touch the project anymore because I need to write a term paper. So I'm not going to do anything after today.'

I feel so mean. But it's the truth anyway... and it's not like I haven't put in any effort.

I'm really becomming so bitchy!