Slacking and musing... (all guiltlessly)

Ooooo, Power 98 is playing Downtown, seems so apt to hear it now, considering I'm still feeling rather satisfied from finally stepping into Orchard Road yesterday...

When you're alone and life is making you lonely / You can always go - downtown /When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry /Seems to help, I know - downtown /Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city /Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty /How can you lose?

...but it wrecks up old memories, some faded away, some not-so-faded away. I think it's the consumerist whore in me, but I remember listening to this song a lot when I decided that the concept of being happy was merely, a choice to make. That I should stop acting like the world was crumbling down, when my world was really... luckier than many worlds. Little places in town, some of my favourite places, only that I could never quite bring myself to go to ever since, and perhaps, never again. Quarrelling with my Dad, then heading straight downtown to buy a new shirt, change straight into it, then settling down to read a book at coffee bean for the rest of the day, alone. Sobbing in a carpark, but a strawberry milkshake that made the day almost fine, but set 365 other days spinning. A year ago, I was in town almost everyday, sometimes with friends, sometimes to work, sometimes to find you, sometimes, just alone because I felt like it. A year ago, I was a completely different person. More than a year ago, even more different - I think I've lost that part of me for good, or maybe, it's what we call growing up.

Oh shit. Having too much time on hand makes me ramble mindlessly.

Sigh, it's a Sunday and I'm stuck in PGP - but at least, the gloriousness of 'no more papers!' more than makes up for the boredom. Today was great in a lazy way, waking up at noon, almost too lazy to even eat my lunch, taking hours before I finally dragged my lazy butt down to do my laundry, surfing the net aimlessly... tennis with Vi in the evening (very embarassing because I can barely hit any balls now), running with Qy at Westcoast park, deciding to run the long way back to PGP because there's nothing better to do... taking the time to walk out to eat better food at NUH, simply because... there's no longer the guilt of not spending every single waking moment staring at lecture notes nagging at you... as Manda said yesterday, 'Long time since I can just sit down and not think about assignments and tests.' Ahh, life is good, for now.

And now, having the time to type long blog posts which may not even make any sense! Man, I sound like (and feel like) I've just taken the last exam paper of my life or something. But really, no more exams that matter until a whole year later! Who cares about exams on exchange...

And yet, I feel so busy at the same time, a million things to settle, a million things to do. Go collect Visa, buy warm clothings, pack my luggage early, meet up with this person, that person, with her, with him, with everyone, write Christmas cards, buy Christmas presents, buy all the birthday presents I owe to various people, firm up travel plans, think about what I need to bring, spend time at home... and I think I'm crazy for willingly going back to work at Paragon on Tuesday but well, I kind of miss it. Sigh, I just know that time is going to zoom right past me.

...I think I'll never ever make up for all the sleep debt accumulated over the past weeks. Last night, I refused to sleep until 5am because it felt so amazing that I wasn't staying up to mug that I had to stay up to do random things. It's almost 12 now, I'm sleepy enough to hit the sack right away, but I don't really want to sleep. I think I'll just sit in a corner in my room and read... yay.