Fishy business

I spent most of the day writing a letter to QY today, and for some strange, I started writing about fishes, and I discovered, maybe my fishes may not be that irrational after all.

For those who are unaware, I'm really weird when it comes to fishes. I HATE FISHES. Seeing dead fishes freak me out. When I accompany my mum to the wet market/cold storage, I would help her carry anything except all the fish which she buys. Whenever I eat at Chinese restaurants where they display the fishes which are about to land on our plates in big fish tanks, I get scared seeing the fishes stare at me. I think fishes are ugly, I hate their slimy skin, their scales, their eyes, their tails. And I would never touch a fish. I haven't gone to the extremes of avoiding swimming in the sea (not that I actually like it), but in the rare occasions that I do, I've this morbid fear that a fish might come along and brush against my feet or something. I don't think I will ever try scuba diving because the thought of seeing fishes all around me scares me. Being in a tub full of fishes is my greatest nightmare. And I hate eating (most) fishes. And fish skin. If my spoon accidentally touches the fish skin, I've this compulsion to get a new spoon, because it's just so slimy. I hate it when my mum tries to make me eat fish. The more she says 'Try this fish, it's very fresh, not fishy at all!', the more I think it has a weird taste. omg, especially those RED fishes, ewwwwww.

Having said that... I LOVE EATING SASHIMI. Considering my fish phobia, it's really bizarre that I absolutely love raw salmon. I don't understand it myself.

Anyway, back to rationalizing my hatred for fishes. I've really had quite a lot of traumatic experience with fishes... traumatic to me, at least.
(1) When we were young, my brother and I used to catch small fishes from the drain and put them into jars, unaware of the fact that the fishes will inevitably die due to tap water/lack of dissolved oxygen. And I always hated it when I woke up the next morning to find the fishes dead.
(2) You know how fishes turn upside down when they're dead? I've seen my fishes dying a few times, the way they start flipping, and end up upside down. That freaks me out.
(3) While I was kayaking during OBS, I discovered a dead fish in the kayak, at my feet. And that was hours into our journey... who knows how long it could have been there!
(4) My grandparents keep fishes. Once, I was at the fish tank when this fish jumped out at me and landed on the floor. And I freaked out while everyone was trying to catch the fish and save it's life, and it kept flipping on the floor, struggling. I avoided looking at the fish tank at my grandparents' place every since.
(5) When my brother was young, he used to eat fish eyeballs, chewing them in front of me. Eww.
(6) All the fishes we've ever kept in our house (I hate it that we keep fishes, even if they're in the pond and I can't see them) never live for long. One just died two days ago.
(7) I think I've choked on fish bones a few times. (then again, who hasn't?)

For someone who is so afraid of fishes, I've a lot to say about them.

My poor future kids (if I ever have any). They'll probably be pretty deprived of something as healthy as eating fish because their mother is afraid of buying them at the market. They probably would never watch Finding Nemo or have Nemo soft toys, or Nemo bed sheets (omg, if I had Nemo bedsheets as a kid, I'm sure I wouldn't dare to sleep on my bed every night). They can't keep fishes as pets even if they wanted to. And if their art homework involves drawing fishes, I wouldn't help them. (yes, we had to do a some 'underwater collage' in primary school, and my mum did all the fish bits... all I did was paint the blue sea.) But I think I'll teach them that nursery rhyme about fishes, the one that goes '1,2,3,4,5... once I called a fish alive...6,7,8,9,10...then I let it go ago again...', simply because it was one of my favourite songs as a kid! (yet another eccentricity, or perhaps it's because the song involves being angry at a fish.)

Enough about fishes! (I just went to the kitchen to check, whew, no fish for dinner tonight!)

I know. I can be weird. But we all have our little quirks, and this is mine!