It's Thursday, and I guess I'm thankful that thus far, this week has proceeded better than last. I've been spending time with people and it makes me happy. (though I still need personal space. I'm actually quite private by nature.)

I still get frustrated with myself over the piano. I don't improve as quickly as I'd like to, or (used to) believe myself capable of. Too many weaknesses, more than I ever imagined. Nevermind, I shall practice later after gym. This is one area where - practice produces results! I really need to learn how to be patient with myself, very.

Recently, conversations with a number of people have forced me to rethink my views on the extent to our social class/backgrounds matter (though as a friend always puts it, 'We're made to believe we're all middle class.')

I cannot deny that when I was younger, I held rather worldly desires for all things material. And I envied friends who lived in huge houses, who had parents who were willing to buy them the coolest toys, gave them enough to buy sweets and chocolates on the way home from school, who went to faraway cool places during the school holidays. I used to have childish fanasies of being the rich, pampered girl, dreaming about how I had wonderful yummy treats like huge chocolate bars (haha) to put in my tuckbox which I brought to school.

I can't really pinpoint when I changed, but I have, and I no longer hold these views. I consider myself fortunate enough, for I have the material/tangible things which I need, and probably a little bit more. I have wealthy friends, and I admire them - for the inner beauty they possess, made up of humility, kindness and sincerity. I used to like it when people believed I was well off (I'm not!), but now I think it's absolutely ridiculous I ever thought that. I've come to see that we can make the best of what we have -

I'm still reminding myself that I'm a fortunate girl, no matter what disastors life may have thrown at me. That I should learn to be comfortable in my own skin.

Call me an idealist, but I'd still like to believe that between people, your background shouldn't matter. I wouldn't want to be remembered as the girl with the coolest clothes, make-up on her face, Prada Bag slung around her shoulder, drove that BMW, or even, the girl with the amazing brains. It'll be nice to be remembered as the girl who was nice (and I never mean nice in the conventional sense - anyone can be 'nice'), who had a heart for others, who made the best of what she had.

I have so much to reflect and improve upon.

I'll be patient with myself. Everything hurts, but it'll pass.

________________________________

LINDA! Still so proud of you! I keep telling everyone how happy I am for you. Really hope you have a good start. =) =) =)