I don't care if my fingers drop out...

... I'm going to PRACTISE, practise, PRACTISE!

I attended my ex-piano teacher's daughter's (what a mouthful) concert - WYX Music of Friends. The group is a trio - the daughter, one other girl from China and a guy from Hong Kong. It was the follow up from their innaugral concert - WYX in Europe. (Wow they've performed in Europe!)

Anyway, it was inspiring. The pianists made some noticeable mistakes, and some of the local compositions featured were not my cup of tea, but nevertheless, it was two hours well spent. And I felt so small -

Watching others play makes a good learning experience. Ku is right, you don't have to move that much to produce good music. Not that I ever disagreed with him (in fact, I've been consciously trying to curb my movements), but I've secretly defended myself by thinking, 'Look, I can't play properly without moving.' Now I see, movements should be meaningful. And wow, stage presence/showsmanship is a whole new ball game. They looked serious, but relaxed. They weren't smiling throughout, but they looked like they were enjoying themselves. Now I see what Ku means when he says I look like the last thing I want to do is to play the piano.

That aside, the 'conventional' parts of the repertoire were enjoyable. It opened with Poulenc, then a thirty minute duo piano arrangement of Saint Saen's 'The Carnival', accompanied by a poem written to the music. I only remember vague stuff, such as 'the turtleeeee is slooowww but always wins the race... the cuckoo sings only two notes... the pianist hunched over the ivory keys...', bad pronunciation but cute. The middle bits were local compositions, some world premieres, probably well intentioned, but most of which I couldn't appreciate. I rarely am able to understand anything that isn't at least vaguely lyrical, so I'm not fit to comment. It ended with a some Russian piece (forgot the title!) and then an arrangment of Carmen Fantasy for four pianos, two hands. The liveliness of Carmen never fails to delight. So it ended off on a good note!

I really have such a long way to go. Time to put in double effort into my posture at the piano. And practise Mars, 5 more days. =S

After loads and loads of sleeping, I finally feel somewhat better today, and more ready to stand up and fight my ass off. Perhaps I was too tired over the past few days. I really can't believe I slept my entire Saturday, plus Sunday morning away. Time to get to get lost in work.

Today, I received an unsurprising, but saddening piece of news. Uncertainty sucks, but certainty hurts at times. So I find myself feeling awful, yet better. Down, but relieved. Disappointed, but thankful.

One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
o be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something everyday. Accept the flustero
f lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these things will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.