Whine / Bitch Fest

This is in order to procrastinate trudging on with the Asianism essay semi-legitimately. My alternative is to procrastinate while being negative, so whatever!

I hate it. I hate it that I take so damn long to craft any essay, that the perfect words never just flow out of me, but only arrive after a tedious and frustraing process of trial and error... most of all I hate the fact that I can't let go, but cling on to the perfect words, and literally have to FORCE myself to just keep writing instead of tabbing furiously at the backspace key. Oh, now I am typing on and on, can't I just write my essays like that?!

Pardon me. I know I'm being a whiner, and that everyone has the write the same damn essay, but as I've said, I really tend to feel like the world is about to collapse upon my height whenever I'm stagnant at an essay. It makes me feel so... hopeless and powerless. Give me ten powerpoint presentations to prepare, I'd probably do it much faster. I feel like I should have tears streaming down my cheeks as I painstakingly type, but no. Stupid happy pills.

I don't foresee myself sleeping anytime soon. Probably not before 7am. Fine if I get to relax and enjoy the weekend, but tadaa, Political Science essay to write over the weekend. And I haven't even touched the piano keys over the last couple of days.

Now. I've vented, banged on the keys of my computer... time to force myself to write, and write, and WRITE. Did I mention that I'm at my first draft and I absolutely cannot bear the thought of actually submitting such a disgusting piece of thing?

Oh. And my room is SO SO SO MESSY. Last night, I slept on the floor because I was so tired from the essay that I couldn't be bothered to pack the bed. Today? Even the floor is messy. But really, I could sleep anywhere now.