Cedele Walnut Carrot Cake...

... IS SO DELICIOUS. Except for the cheese/cream/whatever it is that KimKim and RyanRyan love... it's really tastes weird, like it can't decide whether it's cheese or cream, so it smells like cream with a cheesy stale. Okay, whatever that means.

On many fronts, i feel good about myself on a few things. Had a lovely breakfast (my mouse read my mind and ate the exact same thing!), great lunch with mouse, and then tea with RyanRyan and MouseMouse.

It feels... weird but mostly, satisfying.

On that other front, I can only say MEH. I'm really hurt, disappointed and upset. The cynicism is getting to me, and I'm beginning to question the situation, and myself. And I feel really guilty for even thinking that way. because rationally... I don't think so? Perhaps it's just that voice in me that makes me want to take it out on myself. Like a reminder that it's my fault, because I can be so horrible, and therefore, things are like that and one of us is left staring at the ceiling.

It's so strange how I manage to compartmentalize the situation so neatly into two parts. And view it from two completely different lenses at different moments. It helps, but it hurts. Though i think it's the best of all possible alternatives I can think of, the way things are.

Sigh.