Clean Room!

Meme, RyanRyan and KimKim at AppointmentAppointment!

Kieran: Ryan why are u still here?

Ryan: I got two pretty girls with me, how can I leave?

Small Lee to KimKim: 'Before we start, HI MOUSE. Cheng Wei told me to say this.'

I just started a new business. Professional resume/cover letter / CV editing in exchange for services in:

Room Cleaning / Laundry / Room packing/ Car rides / General abuse

Jiayuan, or rather Miss Maria Goh Yuan Yuan was the first to jump at the great deal. While I slogged at his cover letter (basically copied my own!), he worked through my clothes, rubbish bin, floor, notes etc. Not bad for a guy!

My goodness. The first time in my life my blankets have been folded.

Kevin Moe's new hairstyle. Purple hair wax, cool stuff.

Thus far this week, I have been living in fear and dread. A fall is eminent, I can feel it. I've been inching closer, and am so tempted to surrender, and run straight back into the arms of my worst abuser. And waste my days away. I hear the calls of the devil, so evil, but spoken so sweetly. One last time, I promise, I swear, one last time.

I made an important decision on Sunday, to take upon certain responsibilities. It means a lot to me, and I need to be well to live up to them.

Sometimes I just want to kneel down and cry for the strength to heal. Or scream, and demand to know WHY in the world it has to be like that. Why me, why me, why am I not like this, why can't I be like that, why give me something, then replace it with something worst, whywhywhy. I want to move on already, but I've been trying to for so long. So long. How long more, before I work up the courage to snatch that key from the jailer, and break free. I just can't take that darn leap of faith. I want to, so bad. It's in my hands, but I am just not ready to.

I approached a girl in my class yesterday, upon hearing about her triumph over personal demons. She spoke words so powerful, and told me, it took her six years. Six years. It's been two years, and I can't imagine another four. Or more.

I am so thankful, that I'm blessed with people who make me laugh, smile and be myself. Who love, without judgement. It can't be a coincidence that they all came straight into my life when I needed it most. New friends, old friendships rebuilt. One of the few things I grasp onto for hope, that there is a point to all the insanity. That I'm being watched over. At the end of the day, I will do it for all you guys, if I can't find it in me to do it myself. =)

Grant me patience in my dealings with others, and more importantly, myself.