This foolish girl

After a near slip, she realized that it didn't take deep thinking to see that she was largely responsible for the situation she's in. She is an adult, after all, and accountable to herself. Only she, has the full obligation to take care of her own body.

At the end of it, it was the lack of will to exercise her right to say 'no'. And the flighty nature that predisposes her to welcome any form of distraction from the task at hand. What conveninient excuses. A soft spot, and a weak heart, that leaves her always nodding her head, at the expense of own rest, time, heart. Wistful hope for change - until she sees goodbye. It'll lead to nowhere, but she's unwilling to let go of her distractions.

Her desires are worldly, superficial and worst still, hypocritical. She expects things of herself which she would never expect of others. The things she blindly chases after, have little value, nor beauty. It's all so ugly- and to what end, she wonders. And, where does one draw the line between seeking one's best potential, and being too harsh on one's own self.

Still, she misses that sense of absolute control, but can never grasp it again.