I sitting, look out upon, see hear, and can't decide

Yesterday, I looked a particular tree juxtaposed against the purplish sky as I stretched.

Everything can be so beautiful, even in Singapore, with its obvious lack of great scenery, or momentous architecture. Now and then, here and there, there are to see, glimpses of beauty to treasure. If only we'd be content.

I practised the piano for almost three hours at a go yesterday. Just me and the piano, in a spacious void, it can be so comforting at times. As I worked my way through my latest favourite piece, I once again saw that I'm blessed beyond measure. I've been given second chances at so many things, and more.

Risking it, and asking for a third might be much too much.

It's all very beautiful, but-

Yesterday, I had to read up a little on The Stanford Prison Experiement - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment. I was very profoundly disturbed. Naturally, for I'm always disturbed at hints that we can be so ugly. That at the end of the day, no matter how superior, we're no different from animals. I remember being so traumatized when I read Lord of the Flies. And this drama I used to watch- for the longest time, I have been very haunted by this particular episode, and last night, I realized it was a reference to The Stanford Prison Experiment.

And so, I can't decide once again.

Even when you no longer feel the same physical pain, some scars are so deep that you'd always see it, and feel that tinge of hurt. That you don't think will leave you no matter how much happiness life throws at you.

So I just live with it and try to move forward.