I'm a merry berry for today...

...because exams are OVER! Okay, Ban Ban just corrected me. I am a very merry berry! =)

I need to start of by bitching about the exam, and mainly about myself. I got myself so stressed up one day before the exam (my nerves, as usual) and started fretting and thinking I didn't prepare... I really don't understand why I'm like that! I'd be happily doing my thing the entire time, and moments before the exam I'll go into panic!

But anyway, I felt stupid during the exam. Nothing came from the readings, the lectures, or the notes. It wasn't hard, but I felt like I wasted all my time reading everything, watching webcasts, and fretting my brains out. I'll just tell myself, it's the kind of things I actually enjoy reading.

But heck, exam's OVER. I'm a very merry berry!

The exam period has actually passed pretty well, considering that I spent much of it in good company. I'm fortunate to have had the best people to tide me through this semester. And NicNic! Thinking about the end of exams actually makes me feel just a hint of regret, for I'd miss studying in the library with NicNic, our silly coffees, garden vegetables and all. This is one friend that makes me laugh so much, and brings out the happiest, silliest, BERRIEST side of me. Who else makes me sms stupid things like-

'Nic! There's no more garden veggies in PGP for 2 days, I think we ate all of it!'

Reply: 'Hur Hur. I think they need to grow more'

'Okay. I tell them, after exams we're free to do internship with their farm okay?'

And NicNic over the phone, 'Eh, they really have no more garden veggies isit?'

Different people, bring out different sides of you. The people I love best, bring out the real bits of me. My sillyness then comes out from a natural joy and ease, rather than a mere mask I hide behind. People who know my heehee are privileged people.

Ban Ban and I ended our exams at the same time, so I brought him to sushi tei - his first dose of Japanese food since coming to Singapore! Oh, and I forgot to mention that Ban Ban laughed and laughed and laughed when I told him that I wrote in purple ink for my exam! I mean, why not right? So we chilled over drinks at Coffee Bean ti late- that nice feeling of knowing you can just sit down and talk to you good friend, laugh and laugh and laugh, without a care for the time ticking by, for... exams are over and we have all the time in the world!

Anyway, I start my internship on Monday, and I'll be flying off to Beijing for a month on 25th June... so there isn't much time left. Nevertheless, there're a number of things I'd want to achieve these holidays-

1. Spend time at the piano

2. Get fitter running and gymming (going to TORTURE my legs!)

3. Regulate my sleeping hours.

4. Make concrete plans for honours thesis (*whine, squeal, kick*)

5. Brush up on Photoshop skills or explore some other cool program.

With this thing called expectations, I suppose I can be quite a hypocrite. I see that I have no right to to complain, so I try to suppress it, but I guess it shows, to you who know my mind. Is it that I've no right to be upset with myself? I can't help it that I do fall prey to expectations too, much as I know it doesn't really get me anywhere. When it threatens to break me, I'd just want to scream, 'Look I'm human too, do I have no right to feel what I do?' I've been trying to overcome it, but it's hard to draw the line between doing the best you can, or being plain prideful. But you see, I don't deserve to brood over it.