Practise makes perfect

'You don't get there by praying, but by practising. But isn't it so encouraging to know? You can become like them if you practise.'

Discipline. Patience. Dillegence.

Every week, as I sit there, listening, and getting nit picked (not that I am complaning- I'm thankful in fact), I realize that those are the three that I need to master. And til now, I have not achieved it. I now see the value of localized practising, even if it's a short sequence, and am beginning to feel the joy of getting everything precise each time. But there's regret, and a sense of discouragement- I'm no longer young, and I'm still so far away, so when am I going to get there?

In my younger days, I was very prideful. Better late than never, I suppose.

I really do enjoy it, but today, I just felt a sense of incompetence, and discouragement. And I kind of know I could have put in more effort as well. All that time wasted because I'm so ill disciplined, messy, disorganized.

But on a different note, he asked me, almost randomly, 'Do you think you work hard?'
I was surprised by how I almost couldn't answer that seemingly easy question, and then, I said, almost in embarrassment, 'I don't know! I never ever feel like I work hard enough.'
To my surprise, he said, 'That's exactly it! I always felt that way, even when I practised 8 hours a day.'

Damn it, I don't work hard enough! Never will!