Struggle. Struggle. Struggle.
I guess, I just have to accept it, and then press on, look at the bright side of things, and believe it's not the end.
As the cliche goes, friend's are the best thing in life. With my life, that really is true. As my mum always says, I would never have survived without my friends. I do seem to meet all the best people. Who have ever so patiently put up with me, made me laugh, and gave me strength. It's a reminder that even in the darkest of times, if I can't do it for myself, I can, for all the people I love.
So, Friday evening was spent friends!
Met up with Erwin after work for Sex and the City, and both the guy himself and the movie made me laugh my brains out. Erwin, he's really a most unexpected friend. We went on Exchange together, and got along fine, but well, just didn't click right at the start. Truth to be told, there were times I wanted to strangle him and tell him to shut up with his nonsense. And yet, by a twist of fate, he has turned out to be one of the best, crappiest pals to keep. Sweet, serious, and crappy all at the same time - If I owed my silly, crappy self to one person, it's gotta be Erwin man. After all, who else could I have learnt 'heh heh' from? In fact, I think it's these random crappy shit from Erwin that taught me how to be my relaxed self in social situations.
And Sex and the City, all I can say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It is so, wickedly, disgustingly, bimbotically FUNNY. Just the kind of show to watch on a (thank god it's)Friday. Let go of all sensible rationality, and just indulge in sheer womenly bimbotism, idealism, materialism and rubbish. Til now, I think of 'Here, have some handmade california handroll' and laugh out loud.
Post Sex and the City, I met up with NicNic (nowadays known as CheongCheong) for a late dinner at Swensons. Another perfect way to end a relatively crappy week. We always have so much rubbish to say, so much that long queues dont' deter us- 'oh we'll just gossip the queue away!' In CheongCheong's words, 'both of us are totally unexpected', referring to the fact that we became friends (library partners) since Winston left for Sweden. I disagree- 'why not?' I said. After all, he's one of the very few people, even among very close friends, who know exactly what I mean when I say that I, too, do fall prey to expectations, that it's not easy. I dare tell him things, because I know he wouldn't judge, like so many do. Should I need to sob like a moron, I'm not afraid to call him, because he'll just make me laugh again. From Nic, I've learnt what it means to face up to things with the right attitude, to put in one's utmost, and then let go when it's time.
I have been very unhappy with myself. I just haven't been able to wake up to run, because I'm either so damn TIRED, or else I feel sick every morning. I've been falling sick for the past two weeks, sniffy nose and all, but just haven't fallen sick and gotten it over with. I swear I'll run to the reservoir later. It'll make me feel better once I get my ass up and about. I know I've a tendency to overexercise, but look, two weeks with barely any exercise is just not normal for me.
On the brighter side, I'm so thankful for the piano. When I practise, it really calms me down. Even the ticking of the metronome has become routine nowadays, ticking away 80% of my practice time. It's the satisfaction of knowing that I'm trying to get everything as precise as I possibly can. When I play, I'm alone, with my music, and suddenly, all my struggles either don't matter as much, or are worth it - it's the sense that I'm striving to get better at something I love, and that can keep me going with everything else. It's looking forward to improving (oh, but that seems so slow!), and learning more during lessons.
But as I have said, it's such a solitary pursuit.
This weekend is me-weekend. Yesterday, I slept til 12:30, woke up, and slept til 6:30. Practised, called CheongCheong, and then slept somemore til CheongCheong called me this morning. I don't think I've slept so much in ages, and it wonderfully nua! Today, I shall dedicate my time to practising piano, reading (my colleague lent me the Golden Compass, can't wait to read it!), and my run.
I really do need some alone time, and get back my motivation.
I guess, I just have to accept it, and then press on, look at the bright side of things, and believe it's not the end.
As the cliche goes, friend's are the best thing in life. With my life, that really is true. As my mum always says, I would never have survived without my friends. I do seem to meet all the best people. Who have ever so patiently put up with me, made me laugh, and gave me strength. It's a reminder that even in the darkest of times, if I can't do it for myself, I can, for all the people I love.
So, Friday evening was spent friends!
Met up with Erwin after work for Sex and the City, and both the guy himself and the movie made me laugh my brains out. Erwin, he's really a most unexpected friend. We went on Exchange together, and got along fine, but well, just didn't click right at the start. Truth to be told, there were times I wanted to strangle him and tell him to shut up with his nonsense. And yet, by a twist of fate, he has turned out to be one of the best, crappiest pals to keep. Sweet, serious, and crappy all at the same time - If I owed my silly, crappy self to one person, it's gotta be Erwin man. After all, who else could I have learnt 'heh heh' from? In fact, I think it's these random crappy shit from Erwin that taught me how to be my relaxed self in social situations.
And Sex and the City, all I can say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It is so, wickedly, disgustingly, bimbotically FUNNY. Just the kind of show to watch on a (thank god it's)Friday. Let go of all sensible rationality, and just indulge in sheer womenly bimbotism, idealism, materialism and rubbish. Til now, I think of 'Here, have some handmade california handroll' and laugh out loud.
Post Sex and the City, I met up with NicNic (nowadays known as CheongCheong) for a late dinner at Swensons. Another perfect way to end a relatively crappy week. We always have so much rubbish to say, so much that long queues dont' deter us- 'oh we'll just gossip the queue away!' In CheongCheong's words, 'both of us are totally unexpected', referring to the fact that we became friends (library partners) since Winston left for Sweden. I disagree- 'why not?' I said. After all, he's one of the very few people, even among very close friends, who know exactly what I mean when I say that I, too, do fall prey to expectations, that it's not easy. I dare tell him things, because I know he wouldn't judge, like so many do. Should I need to sob like a moron, I'm not afraid to call him, because he'll just make me laugh again. From Nic, I've learnt what it means to face up to things with the right attitude, to put in one's utmost, and then let go when it's time.
I have been very unhappy with myself. I just haven't been able to wake up to run, because I'm either so damn TIRED, or else I feel sick every morning. I've been falling sick for the past two weeks, sniffy nose and all, but just haven't fallen sick and gotten it over with. I swear I'll run to the reservoir later. It'll make me feel better once I get my ass up and about. I know I've a tendency to overexercise, but look, two weeks with barely any exercise is just not normal for me.
On the brighter side, I'm so thankful for the piano. When I practise, it really calms me down. Even the ticking of the metronome has become routine nowadays, ticking away 80% of my practice time. It's the satisfaction of knowing that I'm trying to get everything as precise as I possibly can. When I play, I'm alone, with my music, and suddenly, all my struggles either don't matter as much, or are worth it - it's the sense that I'm striving to get better at something I love, and that can keep me going with everything else. It's looking forward to improving (oh, but that seems so slow!), and learning more during lessons.
But as I have said, it's such a solitary pursuit.
This weekend is me-weekend. Yesterday, I slept til 12:30, woke up, and slept til 6:30. Practised, called CheongCheong, and then slept somemore til CheongCheong called me this morning. I don't think I've slept so much in ages, and it wonderfully nua! Today, I shall dedicate my time to practising piano, reading (my colleague lent me the Golden Compass, can't wait to read it!), and my run.
I really do need some alone time, and get back my motivation.
Chengwei looked out at 11:04 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home