I've been tossing and turning, readjusting my smelly blanket, but I can't put my mind at sufficient ease to rest. Things are very wrong.

I am truly disappointed in myself, the way I think, and the state of dissonance I am in. I look back on past and recent events with a tinge of regret, and pain. This evening, someone dear summed the situation up in words so brutally, but aptly succinct that it brought me to tears.

Finally, a short release, but it doesn't make it better.

Its a burden no one can take away, however reassuring words may be. Perhaps (d) is best.

I cannot believe what I just did, besides internal (and external) warnings to thread carefully. I now see the bitch potential in me.

This pain I feel is very real. Only time will tell.