Today, I finally got my arse going and ran for the first time since Tuesday. (gripe: I JUST CANNOT STAND NOT EXERCISING)  And yay, I ran for the longest distance in a long long time... 

In and out Upper Pierce Reservoir (6km?)

Upper Pierce to Bishan Park (1km?)

1 round Bishan Park (3.3km)

I no longer can run crazily, but it really feels good to go the distance sometimes! And as usual, running makes me feel like life is in control, as usual. (And it was been VERY out of control).  RARR I wish I had the time and energy to run so much everyday! Anyway, the sky was a very beautiful shade of purple today. 

Today, something really amusing happened to me during piano lesson, for both myself and my piano teacher, in different ways. Here's what happened- 

Me: *Drop pencil into teacher's piano, panicked because I thought I was going to get scolded* 

Mr Ku: Don't worry. *Reaches to take pencil out*

Me: Scared you scold me because CFA scold us for dropping pencil in key. 

Mr Ku: I found that really entertaining.

Me: What?

Mr Ku: You had that split second of panic on your face. Rare classic moment. I thought you're always really calm and cool.

Me: hurhur *thinks of all the irony*

Mr Ku: I like it when I discover my students' vulnerabilities. Shows that they are not perfect.

Me: No one is perfect.

Mr Ku: But many people act as if they were. 

What amused me so much (and I'm still kind of tickled til now), is that he thought I am usually calm and cool. Omg, I would never associate myself with calm! I think I panic more easily then most. 

Well, on second thought, maybe I don't appear like I panic because I usually just keep it in. While I'm having visions of my heart popping out of my mouth in my head. (wow, I mentioned three body parts in one sentence.) 

Life this entire semester has been crazy. When I peer down into myself, I see my disordered self, my disordered habits, my disordered brain, and disordered life. And then, I wonder whether I should laugh, or cry. Because I have absolutely no idea how I managed to get to where I am, getting the things I get, doing the things I do, and losing the things I lose. Honestly, I have no idea what I have done to deserve all the good things and bad things in my life. 

And it's funny how life gets so much more disordered because I try so hard to arrange it neatly.