There goes the first week of the last semester.

Didn't achieve as much as I hoped, thanks to panic attacks over my Mizuho bank recital, fatigue and random admin stuff. I am beginning to develop a distaste for admin work, especially when it involves forwarding e-mails and forwarding them.

Didn't manage to get real work done... well, at least not much thesis work, which could make or break me this semester. I hate the 'sudden death' nature of thesis...no A minus = no First-class, regardless of how well you've done overall. Sometimes I just want to forget it and graduate already.

And yes, the Mizuho bank ordeal is over. I wasn't very pleased with my performance... definitely could have done better given more time, and less nerves. I really had an unusual amount of fear in me for thie gig... no idea why. It's been a long time since I haven't been able to talk myself out of my own fear, at least enough to feel all calm when I play in front of an audience. Oh well, what's done is done... and I hope the nice applause meant I sounded decent enough. And they gave me the hugest bouquet of flowers I've ever received in my life!

Which is kinda sad? The hugest bouquet of flowers I've ever received in my life came from a bank. So for someone else to make me happy with flowers in future, it's got to be really humongous. Well, I guess size doesn't count... as long as they're purple! Or roses of the deepest, darkest red.

I've been quite disappointed in myself this week, in many ways. But what to do, but to move right on. And get things back in shape.

I suddenly feel like lying down and just listen to music.