Almost 21

http://almost-21.blogspot.com/

Hello friends, I've decided on a 2nd blog. Leave a comment with your E-mail address if you wish me to send you an invite.

P.S: Whether I send you an invite has absolutely no bearing on how good/trustworthy a friend I consider you to be, so don't take offence if I don't! :)

P.P.S: The blog's still basically empty, I'm lazy...give it some time.

La Dolce Vita

Rawr, disaster strikes...


Thanks brother, you're the best! =) (coffee treats, better still!)

yup, and you too, lanky friend.

This morning, I suddenly recalled something one of the driving instructor's at SSDC once told me (a pity I don't remember who exactly it was) -

'If you never ever experience sadness, how will you ever appreciate what it happiness feels like?'

When I think of it, it makes so much sense. So I fell down, but what the heck, I'm standing up again today. Simply because experience has shown it to be possible.

Anyway, I'm finally done with Harry Potter! Time to move on to the stack of new books waiting for me...

Lazing on a Sunday morning

The contentment remains. =)

So it's Sunday again, the end of the week, time does fly. It's a seemingly ordinary Sunday morning, but it's not any other Sunday morning either.

I was awakened early by Liza, who was preparing to go to church. As she got changed, we chatted while I lazed in bed. Laughed, as she asked me if her clothes matched, like I always ask her if I look fine just before going out. I suggested different colours to go with her skirt, or wearing my white skirt instead. She asked me if I wanted to try her new conditioner... girl talk. I like girl talk.

After she left, I continued to bum around. It's Sunday, it's the maid's day off, it's my day of rest, being alone in the room. No running this morning- i've promised myself a break. I simply alternated between reading and falling asleep. And it felt nice. Everytime I felt like I was ready to get my butt off the bed and wake up, I wound up cuddling up under my blanket, for more reading, dreaming, peace. I just didn't want to get out of bed, and I was perfectly happy to let myself laze. =)

Who cares about sleeping 7 hours a day, it's Sunday!

I ended up taking out my golden box- a box filled with letters, cards, and other random articles which hold memories. I reread some of the mail I received while I was in NYC, and a revelation made my day. I thought I couldn't bring myself to look back on New York. No matter how much of it was wonderful, the darkness of the last couple of weeks seemed to overshadow everything, ruin it. Such that I thought I'd never want to think about New York, being away. But this morning, rereading those words, I realized it's not true. There were so many more happy memories, things to remember New York by... now that my perspective has been somewhat fixed, tbe bad parts seems so small, insignificant. I'm grateful for the experience of NYC, I miss NYC, I want to remember NYC. =) And the warm fuzzy feeling that while I was gone, there were people who cared.

And how much I care for all of them too. (yes, my dear ones, know that I love you!)

It's not any other Sunday morning, it's a good Sunday morning. Boring, but nice.

Yesterday was great too. I had a great time helping out with a charity card booth along Wisma, then dinner, and shopping with the parents. And oh, I decided I couldn't bare the discomfort of having my hair covering my face anymore, and showed my parents the new earhole, figuring that they'll find out anyway. ANd they weren't pissed, yay.

This is my happy drug.

I sound like an overly high Energizer bunny nowadays, don't I?

Happy thoughts

I have happy thoughts in my head today, and decided they deserve to be recorded down. They're probably really small things to most, but sometimes, the simplest things make me happy, for no reason at all. =)

So starting from yesterday...
I woke up in a pretty foul mood. Tired, irritable, fearful, anxious, stressed. When I was done with topping up my EZ Link at YCK, I was terribly afraid of screwing up upon reaching home. This might sound crazy, but I decided to take a 30 minute walk home under the hot sun instead, and called Qy to talk for awhile. I was drenched in sweat by the time I got home, but after a shower... I was amazingly calm, and confident that I would get through the day. And I've been feeling pretty good until now!

Qy came over to my place in the afternoon... and we ended up watching Living with Lydia. A part of me was thinking, 'wth?! I can't believe I'm watching this.', but the other part just couldn't stop laughing! We laughed, and laughed, and laughed. And played 'daidi' with my brother, and laughed. Laughing can be really nice sometimes.

Went down to town for a meeting with the Health and Fitness committee in the evening. Well, I never got to know the committee very well, especially after being away for half a year, but it was surprisingly nice to see everyone again. Somehow, the company made me feel myself. As I made silly remarks (as I always do :S), chatted on and on... I saw the old part of me.

My mum came to pick me up, and we stopped for fruit juice on the way home (Manda: I HAD GREEN APPLE CELERY JUICE for $2!!! hehe). She caught me by surprise when she asked, 'Do you think you'll ever get married?'... but I ended up telling her many things, things I always thought a parent should never know. But I talked anyway, we talked, laughed... I'm such a mummy's girl sometimes, but I've to say, my mum's an amazing woman. I'm so thankful I called her for help when I was in New York- After my deepest, darkest secret was out, it feels like there's nothing much more to hide. Or rather, I might as well not hide.

And now, this morning...

I ran in and out of upper pierce, twice! I'm pretty sure I must have covered at least 8-9km...yay. I was half regretting it during the second run, but the satisfaction at the end is always great. And the cool weather really helped! Just thinking of the breeze against my face makes me pretty sure of a good day today. :)

In New York, I missed all the food in Singapore, so damn much... but when I'm back, I miss my NYC staples! Like Aunt Jeminah's Frozen Waffles... and it was so exciting when I discovered that it's sold at Plaza Singapura! Yep, I bought it... and this morning, I heated up two pieces for my brother (that idiot woke up late, skipped school, and forgot to wake me up to run.)... and he said it was nice! It's not like I literally made the waffles from scratch... but making breakfast for my brother made put me in an unusually good mood. Maybe it's the comforting thought that 'Sometimes, I can be a nice sister'. haha. Or maybe I just love feeding people around me.

And I need to find some good ciabatta bread...I used to love those at Delifrance, but after NYC, I've decided that they just don't make the cut!

Finally... this is absolutely ridiculous, but I had my favourite Kellogg's Cornflakes with Cafe 21 instant coffee this morning! I know, I've strange eating habits... but I can't help it that I love dipping my cornflakes into coffee. It makes perfectly logical sense to me... I don't drink milk at all, so what's the next best thing to soak cereal in? Coffee! Yum Yum Yum. I wish I could have this for breakfast, lunch, dinner. (except that my mum will kill me- I've no idea why, but she just refuses to let me buy cornflakes. When I buy them, I've to hide them in my room, which makes me feel like... a sneaky kid hiding stolen junk food. :s)

Did I say this already? Sometimes, the simplest, smallest things make me happy. Quirky, but that's just me.

Let me remember this feeling of contentment. To help me keep going.

ARGH

IT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE SOMETIMES.

ahhh, now I feel more calm.

Slothhood

The next time someone asks me, 'What do you major in?', the answer's going to be 'Procrastination. BBA (hons), procrastination)

I know I said something about giving myself things to do, but... let's just say I spent half the day trying to do a publicity write-up for my cca, trying being the keyword... I ended up reading BusinessWeek online. Whenever I try to do work, everything but the work in question seems to become so interesting... like reading every word in The Straits Times, BusinessWeek, and blogs.

I don't know if it's P _ _ _ A _, but I definitely feel so much more hope now. Well, at least, this very moment, right now, I feel that some of the old bits of myself I missed are coming back. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. Surviving through TSP tomorrow will mark a small step, since I gave myself 3 days after the last screw up. And I will, I must, I will... one day at a time girl, I'll think about Monday tomorrow. =)

So life feels better. I've been able to catch up with friends- Charmaine on Monday, Manda, Elayne and Pepper (my terrible twin, after so long!) yesterday evening... and tonight, the Hwachongians at Pet's 21st birthday party. I must say, I was relaxed, I enjoyed myself, and I wasn't thinking about anything, yay. Oh, and it was really a night of reunion with long lost friends. Long ago, I saw a picture of Pet with my primary school classmate, Yalan, and tonight, I met her! And, this girl suddenly asked me if I was from Fairfield Primary... I totally couldn't recognize her, but the moment she said, 'I'm zhi ni', I remembered that she was the smartest girl class! And it was really exciting, because Weixin (my JC classmate, whom I discovered was my primary school classmate only in J2) was around, so I gathered both of them to say hi. Part of me is amused that zhi ni actually recognized me, but the greater part of me is mortified that (1) I look the same (2) she remembers me as the girl who couldn't pronounce 'spelling'. (really?!)

Oh, lazyiness saved my day today. I meant to wake up at 7am for a run, but being the pig that I've recently turned into, switched the alarm off... and ten minutes later, it started pouring. Imagine if I really went out for a run! So I ran after the rain instead, at 12 noon. And for the first time in a long time, it felt nice. Ahhh, must be the weather. =)

Life will get better, but only I can help myself. One day, I know I will look back, and be grateful for my mum constantly trying to knock some sense into me.